time has told me

On our first anniversary

2011-12-22T01:47:00.000+05:30

An exultation in counterpoint

2010-12-01T14:11:00.022+05:30

A single idea can at best be worked into a poem. After all, only in poetry does form and expression take precedence over substance. But prose, or even a song, must ring honest to all the vagaries of life. Oh, the possibilities! The effervescence! Every system tending towards maximizing entropy. The beauty in the chaos! In the dawning that there is nothing that must be done. That man is and always was entirely free. And oh, the new responsibility! To judge and to be judged - but only from within. Unlike the time in school when they put up grade-lists for hostel allocation...

An 'A' for the all-rounders, good at both studies and sports. A 'B' for those good at academics alone. A 'C' for the sport freaks and a 'D' for the pathetic. The idea being to distribute students equally as per their grade, such that no hostel had an advantage over the other. A fair and trusted strategy, so to say. But what of my dear dylanesque friend who was ceremonially labeled an 'A', but later publicly humiliated to a 'D'. He who still vacillates between rebelling and working towards regaining his lost glory? Every closed system closely guards against its irrelevance. Of one's freedom to become. Like the dog who believed she was so attached to her bone that she completely forsook all her meals. Or like the martyr to whom his suffering became an identity. But yet, this is not a poem.

One evaluates one's entire existence on how one feels at a given moment. Therein lies the whole point. The past is always insignificant. All it takes is one fresh unsoiled moment to forgive and be forgiven. Only one moment to attain harmony and retain it. Just like music!

Prelude (from Lute Suite in E minor, BVW 996)

2010-11-18T12:33:00.004+05:30

To the Time spent in preparing for Trinity College.

(grade 8 - piece 1 of 3)

Sea, Beer and Song

2010-09-28T20:08:00.003+05:30

(aka The Thailand Blues)

Sometimes, i think i'm smoking too much
i'm breathing too little yeah
woah, i need to get down (he needs to get down)
down to the ground (he needs to get down)
i need some sea to get me by
i need some sea to get me high
oh just some more sea to get me by.

Sometimes, i think i'm thinking too much
i'm doing too little yeah
woah, i need to get out (he needs to get out)
lark myself about (he needs to get out)
i need some beer to get me by
i need some beer to get me high
oh just some more beer to get me by.

Sometimes, i think i'm getting too low
got nothin to see, nothin to do, nowhere to go
all i've done is comply (all he's done is comply)
now i need to get high (he needs to get high)
woah, i need a song to get me by
i need a song to get me high
oh just a plain old ditty tune to get me by.

The Awakening

2010-09-06T10:33:00.013+05:30

Last night I had a wondrous dream! I saw a Utopia ruled by a respected and capable king. The leader did not get mired in daily planning or execution. He only ascertained that he allocated the right responsibility to every individual. All his planning was done by his circle of judges, who with their clarity in thought and keen sense of right and wrong laid out the moral fabric for the kingdom. These judges in turn had their teams of investigators and researchers who would unrelentingly accumulate and analyze data without fatigue or distraction from worldly charms. The creative artists penned and composed to express their deepest heartfelt emotion. The performers played out their acts to perfection for achievement and for admiration. The entrepreneurs set up enterprises seeking new thrills and adventures. The dedicated loyalists worked for select institutions and establishments, always reliable and dependable towards their cause. The helpers worked charitably, selflessly assisting and nurturing the underprivileged, while the peaceful laid-back mediators, well, they clapped merrily, singing, laughing, dancing and being a friend to one and all.

I woke up smiling, seeing this design repeated everywhere and at every scale. And I said to myself, 'What a wonderful world!'

(Take the free enneagram test to know your principal and secondary motivational types.)

The childhood of Franz Kafka

2010-08-17T16:31:00.001+05:30

Franz ^[1] woke up one morning to learn that he would soon forfeit the love and attention of his family to study at a boarding school. There were many reasons for this decision, the principal being that the school's location had a climate that would benefit his sickly constitution. The months to follow went in a rush of purchase - uniforms, shoes, bedding and provisions - the hostel checklist followed as per guidelines. All through this while, Franz was acutely aware of the money and effort being spent on him and how lucky and special he was to be selected into such a revered institution. He had resolved right then to live worthy to every expectation of him.

However, as often is the case, impossible ideals do more harm than good. He was quick to realize that he was of an average intelligence and that his frail physique prevented him from distinguishing himself in game or sport activities. Further, most of the students at the elite school came from affluent households and would stand out by means of flashy stationery, new attire or fashionable accoutrements whereas Franz maintained that his family had no wherewithal for luxury ^[2]. The only saving grace he recognized was his ability to unflaggingly apply himself, if for no other incentive than to unflaggingly apply himself. And it was this sometimes mulish obstinacy that helped him live up to the ideals he set.

One incident worth remembering is as follows. Every boarding establishment has a certain hallowed installation patronized by every student (or as in this case, by almost every student). This facility is the institute cafeteria or canteen. Now, Franz regarded the financial incumbrance on his father so seriously that he did not frequent the canteen at all, throughout the six years in boarding school! He recounted this almost twenty years later, when his father jokingly told him, 'You were so stupid! You didn't even know where the school canteen was.' 'But I knew Daddy. I was avoiding it only to save your money.'

Another incident further illuminates his character. During the course of shifting lodgings, Kafka's quilt & bedding had been inadvertently transferred to a hostel adjacent to his. This was during the hot summer months when one could easily sleep without a bedsheet, let alone a quilt. Every once in a while, he would request the hostel porters to fetch his bedding from the adjacent hostel, but it still being summer, his plaints were not considered urgent. In a few months he gave up and stopped reminding the porters altogether. Then the cold winter arrived, and in a few weeks he'd fallen very sick with fever. It was only when the other boys in his dormitory intervened and made the house master aware of his predicament that the misplaced quilt was called for. But, by then, he had endured almost an entire month of wintry nights using only a thin sheet for cover.

The above excerpt is taken from 'Infant Psychology - Nurturing the martyr complex' ^[3]. Later, the same chapter describes 'Taking charge and responsibility' as the only established method to mitigate the extent of conditioning.

Disclaimer: The excerpt should not be read as a case study on the effects of a boarding school education ^[4]. Every individual reacts to circumstances differently and builds his or her own survival personality.

¹ ^ Though not the writer Franz Hermann Kafka.
² ^ A misconception, as records indicate that his family enjoyed a financial status comparable to that of the other students at the institution. Perhaps his father wished to instill in him a value for money.
³ ^ An online description of the complex can be read here.
⁴ ^ Read here for the relative demerits to a boarding school education.

bipolar

2010-06-15T11:00:00.014+05:30

you speak of a heavy lonesome sorrow

yet you rejoice while it consumes you

slowly, taking turns on a spit,

incinerating all quiet of contentment

to cry out loud is to feel alive!

just like your great happiness -

enchanting, swelling, lighting up,

thundering, then pouring down like rain

to lose your self is to feel alive!

you speak of your absolute humility

'no my friend, i got no ego at all'

to lose your self in a respectable manner

do you see how everything fits?

and then, from humility to excessive indulgence

(for selflessness alone can get tedious)

drugs, booze, the arts and intellectual pursuits

to lose your self is to feel alive

to hold on is sure death.

maybe some people can find a balance

maybe this balance is called growing up.

Song To Savita

2010-01-21T17:00:00.000+05:30

hey hey miss savita I wrote you a song
when the crowds they were aplenty and the lines they were long
you'd smile through your window, quicker than the rest
no trouble for small change, honey you were the best.

hey hey miss savita what keeps you going so cool
is there someone who loves you, calls you his jewel
do you see him in every man who comes up your way
or are you hoping for a traveller to walk up to you today

hey hey miss savita will I be seeing you again
I've just quit my job, won't be taking the train
maybe we'd go out for tea and talk of everyday routines,
the people you've seen and of ticketing machines.

your restlessness

2009-12-23T00:00:00.007+05:30

tell me something, you say.
(i look up at the fan) tell me
anything nice. (the bed is
comfortable. i need to get the washing
machine repaired.) your breasts
are like two puppy dogs -
some might call them perky, bold,
posey, raunchy, sultry or even
dreamy. but i only want to
rub their little noses with mine.

mmmm, now tell me of my feet.
your feet become a tribal queen (no
pearly soft, wintry white princess
from no fairy tale), worthy of
covering mountains, rivers and
deserts on a palanquin. if i were
the gym going type, i'd carry you too.

hah! and how about my elbow?
your elbow is like the celebrated
strait through which all ships must pass.
Jerusalem in the palm of your hand to
Africa ever unexplored. London bridge lies
all furled up on your bed, see these
pretty pink sailboats cross...

i ask if i snored.
you turn and with
your morning voice, say,
maybe.

Delicate is

2009-10-07T09:00:00.000+05:30

not just powdery butterfly wings, or
catching floating soap bubbles, or
boiling tea leaves till the tannin is just right, or even
playing every artificial harmonic. but also
adjusting a Philips gramophone needle,
holding a thinly wine-glass (right before you've broken it),
finding fluttering eyelashes with your cheek, while
patiently mending a broken heart.

Blue

2009-09-11T14:38:00.005+05:30

There was this quiet boy in office, and there was this quiet girl in office, and they bumped into each other once in a while, exchanging hellos, goodmornings and smiles. He never really spoke, and she never really spoke, so nothing was said between them for a long long while.

Then, one afternoon, it so happened that the quiet girl stood behind the quiet boy in the office lunch-line. As always she smiled and as always he smiled back. But this time, she told him that she felt everyone was a colour and that she was the colour blue. The quiet boy nodded, for it sounded deep and profound and he couldn't think of anything to say.

But since that afternoon, the boy was entranced - he would think of her every time he saw anything blue. His old blue blanket would remind him of her hair. Each cloudy curve in the sky would turn into a contour of her face. His soft faded jeans would get him imagining her skin. Even the Internet Explorer icon would get him thinking of her blinking her eyes.

He had never noticed so much blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. He couldn't work. He couldn't sleep. Always coming up when he thought he was through, a single colour turning his life upside down.

Then, one morning, it stopped. Miraculously and of its own accord. And it so happened, that the quiet girl stood behind that quiet boy in the office lunch-line that day. And as always, she smiled (though he got all conscious and averted his vision). She told him she no longer thought she was the colour blue. She said she now felt green.

another ode to soleil

2009-09-09T18:40:00.004+05:30

Sunset streams in through my window
  sweet
    thickly
      like honey
        lapping up
          against my walls
            soaking into
              my books
                and my music.

I gleam, I radiate, I beam -
I too am a Sun!

down with flu

2009-08-31T22:00:00.006+05:30

Yesterday
i'd resolved to finish the poem: your mouth
a swollen ripe pomegranate, the recoil
of your nipples on my tongue, the thick
grassy smell that fogs over your skin. each line
a metaphorically chosen rhyme
to tell you i burn, even
when i am not with you.

Today
i am teary, (and not
from falling in your eyes) - i have
a fever, and all i want is to
set my muzzle on your thighs like
a lovelorn dog. you noticed i could write?
i have gained a yearning that is stronger.

This Above All

2009-08-09T21:22:00.002+05:30

Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

- William Shakespeare (extracted from Hamlet)

meebaa and meeboo

2009-06-21T18:00:00.010+05:30

On a bright and sunny day in June, Meeboo asked Meebaa out for a climb. He said the air'd be fresh, the view'd be delightful, and that they'd be back by dinner time.

Meebaa concurred and so they left, two happy ants of one happy mind. But the monsoon wind did blow, making Meebaa's march slow, she'd soon fallen far behind.

Four hours later Meebaa was lost, she'd forgotten of the air and the view. She stopped, sat down, held her head in her palms and wondered what she should do.

But Lady Luck smiled warmly on this meek of the earth, for right then she heard a singing in the gloam! And who could it be but her daring old friend, who'd surely guide her back home.

On the way back Meeboo spoke of how he'd return, to get perfect view from the perfect tree. Meebaa only smiled and said, "And I'll come to keep you company!"

Natchenka Shumkova

2009-04-26T23:00:00.002+05:30

image: the unfinished Adoration of the Magi by Leonardo da Vinci

This my dear reader, is the story of a painter.

As of this very moment, it has been exactly twenty years since she touched a brush. Not from the lack of time. After all twenty years is too long to allow for time as an excuse. Not from a lack of inspiration either, for every change in season brings about its own stirrings in one's soul. Nay, she stopped painting from a complete lack of will, using the only excuse she deemed permissible - that she was not good enough and lacked at imagination, the one innate gift that could not be learned through laborious study.

And at this very moment, she wonders if she was happier then in pursuit, or now in appreciation. And contrary to the countless examples of resentment and of repressed lives, she concludes that she is satisfied. That she had grown into being happy, just as she had grown into being in love. After all, one never realizes when one stops pretending.

it's easy to be

2009-03-29T17:00:00.015+05:30

let me take your cares away,
let me plan your holiday.
troubles sailing out to sea,
it's easy to be.

i got mountain tops under starry skies,
blue waters with a soft sunrise,
got good people, shining places to see.

let me take you far away,
let me plan your getaway.
life is all of what you see
it's easy to be.
free.

(written for www.tripraja.com)

sunday afternoon

2009-02-08T15:00:00.001+05:30

Fresh vegetables,
green vegetables,
healthy, lean and
clean vegetables!

With all your sweeties calling out to thee, pray when will you get to missing me?

whiskey talk

2009-01-11T22:51:00.020+05:30

i met him in a crowded bombay bar
my table had an extra chair
the drink went down, we got to talk
and he laid out his troubles and despair.

he spoke of darkness, and the killings
where boundaries of religion and peoples were rife
destroying the caring, the creating, the growing
the true whys and wherefores of life.

he spoke of his loves, and his soft pulpy heart
said he'd loved each as he'd loved his song
giving a part of his soul with every farewell
and if on purpose he chose them wrong.

he spoke of saving what remained of himself
for what, he didn't know anymore
of small variations to break the routine
making each day a little different from before.

and when it was time to go he took my number
saying we'd catchup again sometime
said this could've easily been your story
just as easily as it could've been mine.

She walks on tiptoe

2008-11-29T01:52:00.016+05:30

She walks on tiptoe
and talks through her eyes,
can make a wilted blossom blush
with her purrs and her sighs.

But don't be beguiled
by those dainty soft paws,
she can bring down the heavens
if she draws out her claws!

two sunset roses

2008-11-07T18:18:00.005+05:30

first
we become
love,

then verily
we become
music.

Mr. Zook

2008-11-06T09:05:00.005+05:30

Fee Fi Foe Fumm!
To listlessness thou shalst not succumb!
Whene'er I hear a groan, wheree'er I sense a frown
I'll strickle them out - I'll spook them down!!

(Meet Zook. He watches from my doorframe.)

this morning

2008-11-01T07:49:00.004+05:30

i got everything i need
with the morning lifting up my soul
gone for a walk before sunrise
came back feelin so whole
got dylan singing
and messages on my phone.

i got everything i need
picked up the paper and my brew
i got my day worked out
thought of things to do
only thing to make it better
is share this morning with you.

sniffee

2008-10-18T17:23:00.004+05:30

Last week i had the mornin sniffles,
the mornin sniffles had i.
And every mornin after i left for work
my hanky and i wondered why.

Could it be the office AC ?
(i like a cool draft in my hair)
Or is it somethin i bring home each day ?
(was told there's a flu in the air)

So i changed my sheets, changed me pillow
at night, i (slightly) shut my window.
But today i know, twas just my nose -
fussy flo no like no Nivea Sports deo!

to the cat & mouse

2008-10-05T22:06:00.004+05:30

Colours bubble up in sheer delight -
ever seen an aura shine so bright?!
Dewy-eyed conjurers, spontaneous dream weavers
turning dead stones into divine believers!!

conversations

2008-09-28T12:48:00.023+05:30

You know why I travel in the first-class?
See these marks on my head?
See see. (parting his hair)

One day I was coming back from work when a boy asked me,
'Sir, will I get a job?'
I said, 'Why not. If you are willing to work hard, you will get a job.'
He replied, 'But I have not studied. No degree, no qualification.
So will I get a job?'
I said, 'Why not. See this newspaper. There are so many openings.
Times have changed. And you even speak english.'
He only laughed. And I read my paper.

But later he got up, took out something pointed from his pocket
and started stabbing me.
(like those divider things that come in compass boxes
- you understand?)
Here only. Right on my head.
Three times. Then the other passengers caught him and held him.
They only stopped the train.
I remember thinking, there was so much blood!

Then we all went to the police station. They put him in.
Actually, I didn't know what to do.
I did whatever the other passengers told.
I know they kept him there for at least one night
because I had to go there again the next day.
But I didn't do the whole court thing - what was the point?
(my son wanted me to.. he is like that, but I didn't see any point.)
It came in one or two newspapers also.

After 3-4 months, I started doing the local trains again.
But now I travel only in the first class.

You know why I am telling you all this?
I just lost my phone. It slipped and fell outside.
My wife had recharged it yesterday only.
(I'd told her to wait.. but she is like that.)
I just wanted to tell, that how when big things happen,
the small ones don't matter.
And this is a very small thing, no?
----------
I think, as one grows older,
more than being certain of what one likes,
one gets more and more certain of what one dislikes.
Don't you think? That tolerance levels reduce??

Aha. Yes, but I can put it more harshly than that -
I think one gets more and more and more selfish.
See my grandmother. She complains of us not calling her often.
But if she gets a ring when her tv serial is on, she'll cut the call off,
even if it is an outstation call from the States.
----------
Don't ask me where I am right now
or what I ate for lunch.
There's no point in that - you know how I detest all small-talk.

But I can't classify events.
And when I try, everything turns trivial
and I end up having nothing to say.
----------
On the pic: I was traveling in Ruby with the cat and mouse, when she spotted the street light. It was also the cat's birthday:
May you have many many more!
each one happier than the ones before!!

le frog chanson

2008-09-21T11:03:00.006+05:30

I'll play you a love tune
and turn on your smile
get you to dance and twirl
and take you out in style

we'd make music everyday
if you'd be my girl.

I'll be your yellow
and bring home the sun
paint it with dark red love
when the day is done

we'd keep all black at bay
if you'd be my girl.

And we'd go see places
that we had never had seen
silver moonlight and blue rivers
where we never had been

i'd take you far far away
if you'd just be my girl.

I can't always take you unawares
you know me now, as i'm knowing you
come closer, here, take my hand
my word, dear, will always be true

but tonight i'll be anyone you say
if only you'd be my girl.

all's trivial

2008-09-09T22:27:00.013+05:30

hello fluffy doggie. i wonder how u can lie like this,
chin on the floor, neck all stretched out.
lazy fellow. only movin one eyebrow.
i would take your pic, but i'm talkin right now.
(and i dunno if i can take a pic while using my phone)

i am waitin below the K's building, our lady of constant succour.
i'd never seen so many cats sittin on a road.
he says there's a lady who feeds them.
now there are big, costly fireworks in the sky.
so pretty! twinkle twinkle little stars!
but later they turn into suspended octopuses -
a thick, soft smoky center;
and thin, soft smoky tentacles reaching out in the dark.
the tentacles disappear first, the center drifts for longer.
the cats are gettin up (think i see the lady),
tis dinner time everywhere.

i brought home a white persian lily & a red gladiolus stick today
(can see them in the pic)
they replace the red & pink roses i got last wednesday
to remind me of sunset skies.
also, my railway pass expired today,
so it's been exactly three months at my new job -

we take stock
and all is good.

A Love Song

2008-08-30T13:07:00.013+05:30

There were days with no boundaries,
routines without meaning,
when all writing seemed forced
and without no feeling.

There were songs with no words,
an obsession to seeking,
there were white rabbit races
till late in the evening.

But now there's sunshine
and music everywhere!
There are smiles and laughs,
and so much love to share!!

There were eyes averted,
no talking nor listening,
the river of memories
untasted, yet a'flowing.

But now there's beauty
and wonder everywhere!
There is wine and dance,
and so much love to share!!

gettin easier all the time

2008-05-19T21:04:00.010+05:30

Mr Bojangles told me he never did like the taste of alcohol. May be so. Personally, I think he is still partial to the sweeter Reds and Rosés but right then, I let it pass. He talked of heightened senses in a distorted reality. The fix-a-day.. of the means, that they change - and how they changed! I heard him out patiently, wondering, where it was all going.

Finally, he asked, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if a drunk could start from where he left off the night before? Do you think it could even be possible?"

And I understood him at once! All his transgressions into marathons, serious music and reading. Of newly heightened senses in a newly distorted reality.

It has been three years since. And the means have changed further still. A Dostoevsky can be replaced with a conversation, a Bach with a gentle smile. Yes, it takes time, and yes, it takes practice. But getting high has never been easier!

Enough for me

2008-03-27T10:38:00.004+05:30

Enough for me that you are happy:
happiness reflects possibilites.
Better a garrulous twinkle
than an expression mundane;
Better a trouble laughed
than a tiresome complain.
Enough for me that you've shone past,
a sunbeam dancing in the dark!!

Enough for me

2008-02-14T07:30:00.001+05:30

Enough for me that you are beautiful:
beauty possessed diminishes.
Better a dream of love
than love’s dream broken;
Better a look exchanged
than love’s word spoken.
Enough for me that you walk past,
a firefly flashing in the dark.
-Ruskin Bond
Happy valentine's to ye all!

ran all the way!!!!

2008-01-21T12:15:00.000+05:30

21km.
2hrs 31min 54sec.

heh heh! (and how we've changed!)

To new beginnings!

2007-12-29T13:30:00.000+05:30

Congratulations my dear lil mouse & the happee grinnny cat!! :-)

Also, I cleared the trinity grade 5 with merit, and bought meself a w810i - ekdum happening phone it is! ..saw Beyonce, America and The Scorpions perform live, read stuff, stepped up my runs to 10km, the usual..

The grand old Duke

2007-11-12T13:00:00.000+05:30

The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down.
But when they were only halfway up,
They were neither up nor down!
- anonymous (?) nursery rhyme

On my overgoing

2007-10-28T20:40:00.000+05:30

Four stages in youth hath yet I known:
Of vagrant spontaneity bereft of thought
When seconds were lived and days were thrown
And delight, my very purpose begot!

Unto borrowed words that I called my own
I concluded one's whole purpose was naught!
Through inconsistent justification had nihilism grown
For without experience, one is mistaught.

Alas, my years unaccounted! Did I bemoan
Whereat purpose my existence sought
Each man is condemned to choose alone
And by self must one's path be wrought.

Verily time hath told me, their lives hath shown
It is not in the find of what one has sought
But in a becoming - to have yearned! To have grown!
And then share the ken thy learning hath brought!

I lost my 3230!!!! :((

2007-08-02T17:09:00.000+05:30

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
- Robert Frost (Reluctance)

What then?

2007-08-01T15:28:00.000+05:30

His chosen comrades thought at school
He must grow a famous man;
He thought the same and lived by rule,
All his twenties crammed with toil;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

Everything he wrote was read,
After certain years he won
Sufficient money for his need,
Friends that have been friends indeed;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

All his happier dreams came true -
A small old house, wife, daughter, son,
Grounds where plum and cabbage grew,
Poets and Wits about him drew;
'What then?' sang Plato's ghost. 'What then?'

'The work is done,' grown old he thought,
'According to my boyish plan;
Let the fools rage, I swerved in naught,
Something to perfection brought';
But louder sang that ghost, 'What then?'

- W. B. Yeats

Books read recently: The Idiot, The Wind In The Willows, Rain in the mountains: Notes from the Himalayas, Ruskin Bond's Book of Verse, Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person, The Book of Questions, The Agony & The Ecstasy (but this is still underway - Lorenzo just breathed his last)

Classical Guitar: Finished Carcassi studies in thirds, sixths and octaves and upto study piece 40.

After all, there is no excuse not to.

the monsoon breeze through my bedroom window

2007-07-19T07:29:00.000+05:30

The waft is continuous, smooth and gentle, making me more aware of myself, from the soles of my feet, to my knees, the back of my palm, to the wetness in my hair. Yet the same thoughts set sail. I should have started this Trinity music thing fifteen years ago. Should have read more and known better - all stacks are growing. The movies still lying unwatched, only dusted once a month.

To love, for love

2007-06-08T18:48:00.000+05:30

To love for love
and not through pity,
judicious compromise
or righteous morality.

To work for purpose,
meaning and significance
and bequeath a mark
of standing difference.

And to fold into sleep
thanking the day
for bright and beautiful memories
in a pretty bouquet!

in the theatre of the absurd

2007-05-23T23:16:00.000+05:30

The squirrel climbed up and the sun smiled down. "What if everything was causal and we knew all the variables of one big deterministic system?" He stopped and nibbled.

"But thats for schools and their science books. Guarantees do not exist in the grown world. My striving only increases my chances of being higher and my time being more accountable - everything in the universe is probabilistic. My mind is part of this universe. So my mind is probabilistic: I can only attempt at increasing my chances of knowing without being sure of knowing. The billions of millions of planets show it in a way. If there was one planet with one Sun, a moon and its company of stars it could be attributed to the grace of a god. If there were not so many species of plants and animals mutated over thousands of years from one cell (and to imagine the freak event to have caused this single cell in itself) - emptiness was placed but so much has evolved! The odds of us not being here were so fantastically high, and yet, they have been overcome only because there exist so many galaxies, species, people and Time!!"

He scratched his ear. "So maybe I should rest: good things may happen from toil but truly wondrous things happen only by chance. Aha, yet one must not sacrifice skill waiting for that magical tingle as one could be left with neither." And so he got to climbing again, while the sun, why, it laughed!

There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen.

slow train coming (with messieurs ipod & sartre)

2007-03-04T11:19:00.002+05:30

'There are stars in the southern sky, southward as you go..' Would've been interesting to work it out with Shamik (was again blown by the harmony in Uncle John's Band). Said he's got a classical guitar and I have to find the teacher - messaged Ashley and he hasn't responded. But he was always the happy-go-lucky Rock and Roll fellow. Hope all is well. 'There is a taste of time sweetened honey, down the Seven Bridges road.' Should call him up. And poor Sri, cut him short twice in a row, and we both know how often we do call back. Hope he's well too.

'..got me a line. Nothing I do is gonna make the difference so I'm taking the time.' Arrangements are just as imporant - could never make it sound decent on guitar alone. Maybe with a church organ, the chords filling up every possible space and adding simple ornaments plucked on guitar or piano. 'It's called a Piano Forte because piano means soft and forte means loud. You didn't know?!' But I haven't been practising much and when I am there is no clear direction or purpose. Did play in Dahanu for Rani and Sanjay. Hope she gets back to her music. But Dahanu was good. 'I know nothing about fishing. But just watch me go..' Thought I wouldn't know anyone and get really uncomfortable - it's been more than 20 years since Saint Mary's High School - but it was refreshingly easy. We exchanged numbers. I sent two sms'es and got one reply (which is good, else one can run out of things to say).

Work will always happen but it's important to do something that gives meaning to time. Best to do it early in the morning - it's downhill from there. 'I don't see it as a question of pointlessness; sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad.' Well, Nikhil should be back in Pune. Hope it works out. (Everyone should be well - peace be unto all!) The 3am Pune-Mumbai trips may return. I'll show him the Bach on Abbey Road/Bach meets The Beatles cd. So which is your favourite group? Who's your best vocalist?? We need to have handy answers to these questions na. The Beatles. Van Morrison. But then we forget.

Finally met last tuesday.. she looked unhappy (so very sad) but there was nothing I could say (so very sad). Two years back in time - the dinner and talk, the walk and drop. 'Tuesday's gone with the wind..' arrangements and interpretations, Metallica and Skynyrd both have happy versions but Lynyrd's a more blissful & peaceful happiness, like a warm and golden sunset, whereas Hetfield and co primarily ensure a good time fun - the blues harp vs a bright piano maybe.. (but there was nothing I could've done!!)

"It isn't a question of numbers," said Mathieu. "Humanity replenishes itself, none are missed and none awaited. Humanity will continue on its futile journey, the usual people will ask themselves the usual questions, and wreck their lives in the usual way."

no rain

2007-02-19T21:57:00.000+05:30

(also no run)

All you can play
     and all you have read
all you can say
     to the voices in your head,
All you create
     the mistakes you have made
smiles you desecrate
     everything to fade..

Waters happened.
And he was very good.

From The Morning

2007-02-12T12:21:00.000+05:30

A day once dawned, and it was beautiful
A day once dawned from the ground
Then the night she fell
And the air was beautiful
The night she fell all around.

So look see the days
The endless coloured ways
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

And now we rise
And we are everywhere
And now we rise from the ground
And see she flies
And she is everywhere
See she flies all around

So look see the sights
The endless summer nights
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.
- Nick Drake

I ran, it rained, and all things are bright and beautiful again!

because life is long

2007-02-09T10:30:00.000+05:30

"Man is condemned to be free." -Sartre

This freedom is not the ability to physically do whatever one wants. It is the ability to mentally interpret one's own life for oneself; to define oneself and create one's own values. Even the slave can interpret his or her life in different ways, and in this sense even the slave is free. There is no absolute truth, golden path or universal guide. And one holds complete responsibility for oneself.

(Sophie finished last morning. But the Osho has finally provided The Reprieve and Iron in the Soul.)

Cogito, ergo sum ?

2007-02-06T12:01:00.000+05:30

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare (Macbeth)

(still midway through Sophie's World; post Women in Love, Woolf's To The Lighthouse and a compilation of Checkhov's works)

Zombie!

2007-01-30T16:53:00.000+05:30

21.097km again
the sweet, slow and steady slumber..

Hello Sri!!
(no Sir, the marks on me fingertips are from playing guitar)

29th Jan - weened off anxiety pills
31st Jan - expected end of my cough prescription
1st Feb - should finally get new glasses
2nd Feb - Alan Parsons!
3rd Feb - Walter Trout!!
4th Feb - Buddy Guy!!!

memoirs

2007-01-13T10:00:00.000+05:30

"One thing is for certain, a horrific chapter in Iraqi history has been closed." - Dubya Bush

"Most issues arise because one incessantly expects others to be like one's self. One must recognize individuality, accept it, and finally expect it!" - Swami Something

"Think I'm just tired of living."
"But you may still have 30 more years to go."
"I know. And it worries me." - with the Other

"The course only doesn't admit those suffering from clinical depression."
"But how would one know.. like, beforehand?"
"Well, you just have to be true to yourself." - from a colleague

"The more I think about it, I realize all this religion is just made up." - Ashley

"I genuinely want to be a Believer. And I truly admire those that are. Like Mouse.."
"It's because you don't have faith in other people." - with a colleague

"Why wouldn't I want to work?! I love my job!!!" - Daddo

Thirty

2006-12-17T18:12:00.000+05:30

You ask on the years gone by,
and regrets that must have add.
Whether three decades have wearied me dry,
on the dreams I must have had.

As if birthdays were moments of reflection
for all one's work undone!
Never have I dwelt on past satisfaction -
I weary only for the times to come!!

Our Haiku - II

2006-12-07T10:13:00.000+05:30

E9 days,
Our ways,
No sunrays,
Curtains drawn, always
- the other bojangles

Our Haiku - I

2006-12-06T11:10:00.000+05:30

These days are so tight,
Have reached mechanical heights
Aint complaining my friend
Its just that all this is so different (from the lives we used to live)
- the other bojangles

To Live

2006-10-25T22:04:00.002+05:30

Life is brief.
Fall in love, maidens,
before the crimson bloom fades from your lips,
before the tides of passion cool within you,
for those of you who know no tomorrow.

Life is brief.
Fall in love, maidens,
before your raven tresses begin to fade,
before the flames in your hearts flicker and die,
for those to whom today will never return.

(from Akira Kurosawa's Ikiru)

pg34 material

2006-10-21T05:20:00.001+05:30

but may be I'll post when fed up of being me.

(text/plain)

2006-09-07T03:06:00.000+05:30

it's getting bad again
perhaps we've outlived ourselves

" To lay me down
In silence easy
To be born again
In another world.. " - Van Morrison, Astral Weeks

if

2006-08-16T09:43:00.003+05:30

Everyone's been working a lot - saturdays, sundays, independence days - wondering whether they get the satisfaction.. or may be it comes only when something is finished.. or when it's moving towards some line.. Osho says the pay alleviates the pointless - may be things would be brighter if there was a need. May be thats why people go about creating them.

cancelled tomorrow's class

2006-08-10T21:29:00.000+05:30

Got the Most Stable Employee award today (a Shopper's Stop gift voucher) for doing the same thing for over a year. Dunno if it's a good or bad thing.. but the Mouse should be pleased.

Jackson Pollock

2006-08-06T17:13:00.002+05:30

"If people would leave most of their stuff at home and just look at the paintings, I don't think they'd have any trouble enjoying them. It's like looking at a bed of flowers – you don't tear your hair out over what it means." (from the movie)

Also salary came in today and along with it the feeling that may be I can do this afterall.

yet another day

2006-08-05T14:05:00.001+05:30

Working day. Others at lunch, me at Shravan (ekadashi today, ergo 11 days have already passed). Also thanks to the underground man, I think I even understand why.

a wise man leaves his feelings behind,
a kind man cannot but be kind..

(but that's work related, and the Others are getting back)

for little Rohit's art-book

2006-08-03T07:35:00.000+05:30

written during my homeward train ride:

To Friendship

When I'm wearied, down, feeling low or sore
When I cannot see the light anymore
You knock unexpected at my door
And guide me safe to the shore.

And when I'm shiny, light, gay and high
(for happiness needs not a reason why)
You gift me wings, help me fly
Soar the heavens and touch the sky!

satday at work

2006-07-15T15:18:00.002+05:30

Treat everything as an adventure, I overheard them say.
But it gets harder when you know they were right and you were wrong.

" So leave the ways that are making you be
what you really dont want to be.
Leave the ways that are making you love
what you really dont want to love." - Nick Drake

so that I remember

2006-07-14T10:40:00.000+05:30

3rd june - solicited by gay fellow (already forgot his name). But it'll take more than one to get me cut my hair.

3rd july - got pushed & fell off the local train. Experienced Bombay's famous apathy and also the comfort of kneecaps!

11th july - another sad day for the city (ride with a totally deaf yet very talkative rickshaw driver).

so the financial papers win over page3!

2006-05-22T19:35:00.000+05:30

to reality

2006-05-17T18:36:00.001+05:30

Pune was surreal - if Time ever stood there, he'd be motionless. Utpal filing FIRs for stolen mobile phones. Nikhil's guitar and talk. Aniket on trekking. Mr Brownstone..

The Myth of Sisyphus

2006-05-10T18:00:00.000+05:30

but, if they brought forth
one big simmering pot
to melt, blend or dissolve everything that we had got,
reforged all you were, and all I was not
would it be easier on us all?

The masses have their religion, so I chose my opium. But I was wrong - one must choose consciousness.

'The rock is still rolling.' - Albert Camus

Happy Birthday Shamik!

2006-05-02T07:27:00.002+05:30

the dirt settles, the waters get clear
inebriety takes on new meanings, year after year
holding on to those who hold you dear
incapable of love, of laughter, mirth or tear.

the man from yesterday -

2006-04-21T15:26:00.000+05:30

These words for you
I spoke to myself
After the phone call
Saying ‘couldn’t resist’

I want you by my side
Hold you through the night
So many lullabies to sing
To make you sleep like a queen

So many kisses to greet
The morning opening of your lips
Bathe you in them, awake
Make love to you at the daybreak

Then I’ll make some coffee
Those lashes will raise the lids
Drugged with the nights sleep
Your eyes will begin to see me

You will smile at the world
Brightening up my day
We’ll light up a ciggi together
And start talking in our smokey way.

- the other bojangles

2nd poem...

2006-04-20T18:31:00.001+05:30

She's gone,
& now I stoop down,
& collect pieces of my broken conscience.
She's gone,
& now I smile,
& try to rekindle my void existence.

She's gone,
& now I stab
into dreams reeking of my past-tense.
She's gone,
& now I cower
knowing that I've lost my innocence.

She's gone,
& now I crawl,
brought down by my decadence.
She's gone,
& now I live
aware of my shattered resilience.

- Shamik

cold turkey - day two

2006-04-18T11:38:00.001+05:30

Morning panic: Thought I'd left the last-guy office-keys at home, but I'd passed them on to Thakkar when I'd caught the rick.

office is colder. outside it's hot. the women's loo have a mirror. the gent's loo have not.

Edited my cell's phone-book last night, now all work colleagues have an 'aroo' to end their name.

and if that don't do, I'll try something new

2006-04-17T13:09:00.000+05:30

Am feeling really bad about waking up after a two day weekend.. both guitars watching me, unplayed. Slumbered through Being Cyrus and a play called Love Letters. Very nice, the play..

Shattered a pretty glass candle-holder thing this morning. Was talking with Mousey while putting laptop in its case and the top flap hit.. am horrible.

So to the newest change! (atleast until the King's next visit)

A hard rain's a-gonna fall

2006-04-10T15:22:00.001+05:30

The clouds had all gone, but I caught a taxi and bought them all back.

We launched today - lots of buzz everywhere; the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Seattle PI,..

`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

(from Shelley's Ozymandias)

the King has left the building..

2006-04-03T14:34:00.000+05:30

"Think we all got it under control.. won't get strung out. This rarely works. I'm living proof. But in the end, you've just gotta see the junk as another 9-5 gig, the hours are just a bit more inclined to shadows." - Jim Carroll (in The Basketball diaries)

Watched V for Vendetta.. orible orrrible orrrribbble!!
(Bought tickets to Being Cyrus for dad while Mom and Mousey were smsing from Dubai)

Terrified. Mortified. Petrified. Stupefied.

2006-03-30T09:12:00.001+05:30

system reboot strongly advised
(also The King should be in town and Mom-sis are leaving for a Dubai wedding this saturday)

Will go to class tomorrow, even though I've been mainly playing electric since watching Johnny Cash (and Nikhil was right, the black Fender seems like an small easy toy after working on my classical). Bought a neat guitar stand too - Mr. Fender sits straight up by my bed, all night long.

Got accosted by a pimp on Sunday.
My name's Ramu. You don't want? Why?!!! You don't want a look?? Why??!!! Take phone number atleast - you don't have to call. No???? Whyyyyy... Ramu. Ramu. Remember, and ask for me.

here we go again

2006-03-25T12:03:00.000+05:30

friday night, last local.
5:30am, login from home.
9am, dinner-cum-breakfast.
11am, office office.

better late

2006-03-23T12:25:00.000+05:30

I brought in Navroz sweets to office today (as I'd then got the jacket for Shome). One assorted box for each of our three rooms - badam barfee, chocolate barfee, kaju katli and mawaa. We really aren't a bad sort, we're just lazy.. and that is all.

Cancelled my friday class for the second time yet. I could've worked hard and made the cut, but I've started on 'The Great Gatsby', and it's something I'd been wanting to read since a long time.

"It made no difference to me. Dishonesty in a woman is a thing you never blame too deeply - I was casually sorry, and then I forgot." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Navroz Mubarak!

2006-03-21T13:11:00.000+05:30

Finished reading Steinbeck's 'The Moon is Down' (while waiting for the ticket cancellation/rebooking - dad came and relieved me at eleven - the line was even longer than yesterday).

"Your eyes in their deep heavens
possess me and will not depart;
a sea of blue thoughts rushing
and pouring over my heart."

(may not be exact, I've returned the book)

So it's finally out!!

2006-03-20T18:14:00.000+05:30

yes, I hadn't been reading - just found the post.

All the best you two!!

marlboro gays

2006-03-13T14:34:00.002+05:30

the contrast is the key to the drama here...2 macho men, straight from the hoardings of marlboro fall for each other, one summer in the locales of brokeback mountain. the movie spans some 20 years of their lives wherein they are trying to balance their respective family lives and the relationship between them. breathtaking visuals, minimal use of beautiful music and understated performance of heath ledger makes it a good viewing

being a straight man i couldnt empathise with the situation but having been in love a few times, could identify with the emotions involved. a slow pace, repititions of the same situation and a lack of universal appeal are some of the negatives in this oscar frontrunner.

worth one viewing for all movie buffs

- the other bojangles

first poem of our own jerry bear

2006-03-09T16:09:00.001+05:30

She sits her head held high,
Doesnt care for my forlorn sigh.
And me, the fool's fool,
Keeps on loving her as a rule.

O! Shall I never caress,
the skin where her auburn hair does recess,
Or feel the heat,
When with her, my chafed lips do meet.

Oh God! my hands are raised in prayer.
Give me life or send me my slayer.
How long should I withhold my encore,
Must I always stand on a deserted shore?

- Shamik

The Peter Sellers version

2006-03-06T23:14:00.000+05:30

It's been a hard day's night,
and I've been working, like a dog.

story of sayuri

2006-03-06T14:09:00.000+05:30

from the desktop of the 'other' bojangles:

for those of you who have seen the kamaal amrohi epic 'pakeezah', memoirs of a geisha will come as a hollywood rendition of it. an underdog goes on to become the most happening geisha in the town and in the end gets united with her childhood love. loads of plot twists like, a bitchy rival, a dedicated trainer and wwII happen in between. the high points are mindblowing cinematography of the oriental and moving background score by none other than john williams . all in all a visual/musical delight.

i havent read the book to comment on the quality of adaptation but 'time has told us' that the latter is usually weaker.

ps: sayuri is her 'geisha' name.

craaaash!

2006-03-03T13:17:00.000+05:30

from the desktop of the other bojangles:

many plots, 2 days, 1 city and racism in US...that in a nutshell is the plot of this multiple oscar nominee. the execution, remindful of previously seen smart flicks like magnolia & traffic lays bare the deeply embedded racism prevalant in the US society. some great acting specially by don cheedle & matt dillon and a brilliant background score makes this movie a must see!

though the nation keeps bragging about the egalitarian, humanitarian society that they have, the reality is that something like racism is still very much around. but its only a country like US where you can talk about it so openly!

..anything

2006-01-20T11:10:00.000+05:30

you say
or do
can and will be used
against you.

But I finished!!

2006-01-15T17:08:00.002+05:30

All of 21.097km!!! (these spirit fellows don't know a thing)
It took me 2 hours and 40 minutes - knee gave way when there were about 3kms left, so I had to slowly walk to complete.. now for 2007.

Straight from the horses ear:
'Milind Soman! Milind Soman!!' (he overtook me twice!)

'Dude we have to be smart - see that guy with the frizzy hair with that short chick. They sprint for a while and then walk - yet they catch up with us every time.'
'Keep running or I'll tell Shivani you wanted to walk behind a babe.'

'prrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Excuse me.. sorry..'

frizzy haired guy to short chick, 'I was..'
short chick, 'shut up!'
(when I crossed them half an hour later)
frizzy haired guy to short chick, 'I..'
short chick, 'just shut up!!'

'Abhi nahi, race ke baad mein donate karo!' (the organ donator cheering group - and there were lots of cheering groups in all sizes)

'Aunty, aap ko toh fashion-show mein hona chahiye.'

'Abhi toh ho jayega. Aate waqt kaise hoga!' (DHL guy on running up the peddar road bridge)

When we started out at 7, the full moon was still up over the sea..
and there was a navy brass band playing really well - the guys actually used sheet music!
and there were lots of these small yachts with uniform light blue sails..
and for a long long while I ran with a big white baloon having a UV water purifier ad - till I gave it to a street kid at Haji Ali..
and the Mousey did the 7km dream run - even with her terrible cough that kept her up most of the night..
and the dream run looked a Carnival - there were kathakali dancers, people in all sorts of costumes with things on their heads, even a Yamraj (with two guys dressed as skeletons) doing an anti-tobacco campaign!!

Mumbai rocks!
(The Bombay festival has begun - trilok gurtu playing tonight by the gateway - but the knee demands his rest)

Another brand new day!!

2006-01-10T12:22:00.000+05:30

So there I was, coming back up after my jog, thinking how I no longer have time to watch the VH1 classic hour, that apart for being able to read very simple pieces I have nothing to show for my 7 months of practice, that something's really wrong with today's education-career thing..

Got home and slid open the drawing room window.

Pre-dawn skies, the calm sea, the sweet morning breeze.. mom leaving for her morning class saying she'd left me some tea (and that sugar was added twice by mistake).. the mouse still in hibernation (and she's better now) - who was I kidding?!!!

'No need to run and hide
it's a wonderful, wonderful life.' - Wonderful wonderful life (Black)

last working day of the year!

2005-12-30T12:33:00.002+05:30

Straight from the mouse's mouth:
when car's there - "Here's the car, now where are the keys?"
when car's towed - "Here are the keys, now where is the car?!"

Ran 7km this morning. If my knee holds, I think I can go on and on.

bub bye 2005

2005-12-16T10:29:00.001+05:30

Had my last class of the year (and I played on his Fender nylon string!!)

'What's this symbol?'
'That's a breve.'
'A breve??! Never heard of that..'
'Come on, if there's a semibreve, there had to be a breve!'

(also got formally introduced to mr. hemi-demi-semi-quaver)

thus spake

2005-10-24T12:10:00.000+05:30

'They ask on why they need different, and to why they are not as easily pleased as before. Yet they easily accept (and expect) all change in physical form. The growth is everywhere.' - Swami Something

sweetie

2005-10-19T16:10:00.001+05:30

The happy guy reached VT. Rush hour was long past and the station was clearing up. He put the book in his bag and took out his mobile, 'Reached VT. Be home soon. Switch on geezee baba.' He checked on his wallet - twentyfive rupees - the ATM trip could be postponed to the next morning. But that meant he'd have to leave home a few minutes earlier. Shaking his head, he walked towards the ATM in the dark of the dark, dark night.

A couple walked ahead. She commenting on how he should change his shoes. He replying on how they cost money. She reminding him of the new chappal's he'd aquired. They weren't suitable for work, he said. She wouldn't understand his work.. she couldn't understand his work, he said. So an argument began and it was growing. The happy guy overtook the quarreling couple hoping he knew she meant well.

'Sweetie?'
Happy guy looked around. There were four guys (all to his left).
'What do you want Sweetie?'
He remembered later that he began walking faster and faster and faster still (though in reality he may have even run). And he could hear them all through the while, 'Yes, Sweetie. Sweetie??'

(And when he walked out of the vestibule, they were gone.)

Drizzled this morning!

2005-10-18T13:21:00.000+05:30

Am so happy,
happy happy happy..

..and you don't need a reason to be glad!!

barren

2005-10-07T12:12:00.001+05:30

'..how you answer the questions of God's existence will impact your relationship with others, your commitment to integrity, your attitude toward morality and your perception of truth..'

But I've always needed to find out for myself - a deaf ear to her, a deaf ear to him.. a closed door to them and all the voices within. 'Then how did it all start?' Something from nothing. (wonderings on the beginning of life and matter, knowing nothing of the beginnings of my own life or even workplace - and which has more relevance!) I don't know. I don't know.

And if he did exist, he's made himself redundant.

Watching the wheels

2005-09-28T14:47:00.000+05:30

Saw a guy having an epileptic seizure right outside the main entrance of VT. It was rush hour - the crowd continued moving, avoiding him.

Watched a couple having a long conversation in sign language. They were on the platform opposite mine.. five minutes.. or a little less. Sometimes she got irritated when he didn't understand.

Had vada-pav for breakfast in office this morning. Was expecting the usual idli. So nice!

'I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go.' - John Lennon (Watching the wheels)

nag nag

2005-09-27T08:06:00.000+05:30

(so what did you do memorable yesterday?)

saw the lights as my local entered VT (had just shut the book and come to the door). Was lifted, taken far far far away. As with listening to Nicola Hall. Or reading Dostoevsky. I know many who search for that beautiful place (only) to get lost. I know am fortunate to be surrounded by them!

'..that the sacrifice of life is, in many cases, the easiest of all sacrifices. They fail to understand that to sacrifice five or six years of their seething youth to hard and tedious study, if only to multiply ten-fold their powers of serving the truth and the cause they have set before them as their goal, is utterly beyond the strength of many..' - Fyodor Dostoevsky (The Brother's Karamazov)

chikoo

2005-09-18T12:30:00.000+05:30

the gates of the forbidden city is open now, so that mr bojangles can walk in and tell what the gypsies sang to him and others, one friday evening.

so there we were..me, my twin, the sis, and a bearded fellow with our 500/- pass outside the gates of the place where the gypsies were going to be with their guitars

Ganesha says

2005-09-07T09:48:00.000+05:30

take the day off work
make up for lost sleep
get in shape for friday's class
(un)dust the computer and bring it into the bedroom
replace the busted tubelights
go kitchen-tile shopping

Will do.

'Cloulds are stalking islands in the sun, I wish I could buy one, out of season..' - Peter Frampton

hard to sink! -meraj

2005-08-30T16:21:00.000+05:30

my first time. i dont know what to write. so i shall start by trying to write what i am thinking, which is again coming back to 'what to write'. just read some nice things from the ol' boy and a couple of cute spread of words from a girl who seems to have travelled a lot on BEST. and see...im beginning to write my thoughts...a good beginning....wotsay folks??? (ive got a thing for 3 dots...so please bear with me...oops them!)

lousy bad boy

2005-08-30T11:39:00.001+05:30

groan. Sorro bout getting you drunk, Mr Kent old boy, but I honestly couldn't have assisted. Am still feeling disoriented with the little I had - it spoils my mood and pretty much ruins all chances of sleep. So now I think it's finally time to put me (right) foot down and say no. Next time, how about a nice thick creamy chocolate milkshake instead!

Mishin me shleepin.

(Swami Something wishes to remind you again; sleep is not a waste of time. You strive all day in pursuit of happiness forgetting you were comfortably happy before you got off bed in the first place!)

My Back Pages :)

2005-08-25T12:16:00.000+05:30

*poof*

There go another five minutes of your only life.

(now do you understand ?!)

..to make some music, read a book, or just lie in bed and smile,
knowing that all those years gone by were all worth my while..

..and another beginning..

2005-08-13T17:21:00.005+05:30

"Time flies like an arrow"

That was how my first lecture on Cognitive Psychology started.. it was the January of '99. I must've attended four of the forty lectures - give or take a couple. Don't remember anything except for the profee listing many many interpretations of the statement. I got a bad memory. But then, its been six years.. So many seasons, aspirations, hopes and desires.. accomplished and forgotten.

And now I sit here at work on a holiday. Waiting watching waiting. Soon the computer will finish doing what it has been doing. Then I'll take a local to VT and go home.

Home is where the guitar is.

Joni's been playing in my head:
   '..and the seasons they go round and round
   and the painted ponies go up and down.
   We’re captive on the carousel of time
   We can’t return we can only look behind
   from where we came
   and go round and round and round
   in the circle game.' - Joni Mitchell (The Circle Game)